Showing posts with label guys. Show all posts
Showing posts with label guys. Show all posts
Wednesday, December 7, 2011
I Never Read Those Things
Just noticed MSN has Hot Guys Doing Horoscopes… hilarious! Clicked on it, of course. Hope that blonde guy is always going my Leo. RAWR!
Monday, June 30, 2008
I Only Drink to Make Other People More Sociable
Four nights of drinking seriously took its toll. Not just the drinking as I also smoke when I'm out like that. Went through three packs, which my lungs now inform me is excessive. I wasn't going to go out Saturday night but Zac harassed me via text and voice mail until I did. Almost didn't go out last night but it was the last day, I'd asked for a half-day off, everyone was going to be there, et cetera.
I didn't do any events this year… even skipped the parade. Mary said she'd catch me for a few things and John was doing a bunch, but I only went out for the dancing and drinking. No one that I was interested in was available. Had some randoms interested on each of the different nights yet didn't follow through on them. Did go home with Andrew last night since it was nice to have someone there without wanting to do anything.
Walking home from his place this morning I felt relieved that Pride was done with. Guess I've grown more jaded and less supportive over the years. Even going to bigger/different ones doesn't sound appealing. Was committed to going to Southern Decadence this year but even that makes me think “Meh” right now. Maybe a few days of good sleep will change my mind. *snicker*
I didn't do any events this year… even skipped the parade. Mary said she'd catch me for a few things and John was doing a bunch, but I only went out for the dancing and drinking. No one that I was interested in was available. Had some randoms interested on each of the different nights yet didn't follow through on them. Did go home with Andrew last night since it was nice to have someone there without wanting to do anything.
Walking home from his place this morning I felt relieved that Pride was done with. Guess I've grown more jaded and less supportive over the years. Even going to bigger/different ones doesn't sound appealing. Was committed to going to Southern Decadence this year but even that makes me think “Meh” right now. Maybe a few days of good sleep will change my mind. *snicker*
Friday, June 13, 2008
How Cute!
Went up to Fudruckers for lunch with the coworkers. Could have sworn the cutest little guy at the register was checking me out. So when I went up I tried to be as cool as possible while ordering. He asked for my first name for the ticket. So in a snarky voice I purred, “Well, what is your first name?” He laughed as he told me, “Scott.” So I thanked him then handed over my signed receipt with a direct smile.
Sure enough, as I was getting my water he looked over at me three times. Then again when I was picking up my order. Would have waved on the way out but he was off stacking plates. Silly moments like this make all my flirting worthwhile. Of course, he was 19 at the most but I'll take whatever I get these days. Going to be 35 in two months. *sigh*
Sure enough, as I was getting my water he looked over at me three times. Then again when I was picking up my order. Would have waved on the way out but he was off stacking plates. Silly moments like this make all my flirting worthwhile. Of course, he was 19 at the most but I'll take whatever I get these days. Going to be 35 in two months. *sigh*
Saturday, May 3, 2008
Innocent
I'm pretty good about keeping my looks to myself in the locker room, largely because I've gotten unwanted attention myself on occasion. Yet this afternoon was the opposite for a change. Heading towards the shower I did a double take in the mirror as I noticed the guy behind me. Not only was he gorgeous, but he was staring me down. Nubility personified with his taut, tanned torso and wavy blonde hair.
Figured I was delirious from the workout so I looked the other way in puzzlement as I continued on into the showers. While lathering up my peripheral vision caught him walk into the sink area. So naturally I flex what I can and lament the fact that being naked doesn't allow one to hide a pronounced gut. Wasn't really a factor though because he was still staring. Staring. In fact, he even waited at the wall to the urinals, watching me until I looked directly at him. Made me roll my eyes with a giggle.
Toweled off and as I approached the locker I withered under his glances. I dressed as quickly as possibly but he was ahead of me. Was putting on my shoes as he headed out. I hate how new situations overwhelm me. All I had to do was say something, anything. Yet the moment was gone. Out in the parking lot he was nowhere to be seen.
Probably for the best. I'm not a slut. Really.
Figured I was delirious from the workout so I looked the other way in puzzlement as I continued on into the showers. While lathering up my peripheral vision caught him walk into the sink area. So naturally I flex what I can and lament the fact that being naked doesn't allow one to hide a pronounced gut. Wasn't really a factor though because he was still staring. Staring. In fact, he even waited at the wall to the urinals, watching me until I looked directly at him. Made me roll my eyes with a giggle.
Toweled off and as I approached the locker I withered under his glances. I dressed as quickly as possibly but he was ahead of me. Was putting on my shoes as he headed out. I hate how new situations overwhelm me. All I had to do was say something, anything. Yet the moment was gone. Out in the parking lot he was nowhere to be seen.
Probably for the best. I'm not a slut. Really.
Sunday, April 20, 2008
Two Hours
Pretty sure John tricked me into volunteering at his church. Yet every time someone asked me what I was doing Sunday, felt good to say, “Feeding the homeless.” The reality of it didn't hit me even when I was putting the apron on. When the people started shuffling in, it was there. Thankfully there was always something to do.
The hardest part was the kids. One little girl with permed hair in pink pajamas. Two sisters both less than five… I can still see one biting into an apple. I kept up though. Joked with a guy who wanted me to adopt him. Assigned to waiting tables I got called “Lemonade Boy” because I always kept a pitcher with me.
Walking out of there two hours later I almost broke down. John suggested we grab a drink so we headed to the 19. So much to process it was nice of him to distact me. Talked about some stuff we can do during the summer and finalized plans for Thursday night. He gave me an extended kiss good-bye and I thanked him again for sharing this part of his life with me.
Was talking with Michael earlier about my fears of someday being homeless. He laughed at me but I was very serious. Seeing some of those people's faces, their eyes as they thanked me… it came back to me as I went up the elevator. I really did nothing tonight in the grand scheme of things, yet it's more than I've ever done. Pretty sad. Something else I need to work on.
The hardest part was the kids. One little girl with permed hair in pink pajamas. Two sisters both less than five… I can still see one biting into an apple. I kept up though. Joked with a guy who wanted me to adopt him. Assigned to waiting tables I got called “Lemonade Boy” because I always kept a pitcher with me.
Walking out of there two hours later I almost broke down. John suggested we grab a drink so we headed to the 19. So much to process it was nice of him to distact me. Talked about some stuff we can do during the summer and finalized plans for Thursday night. He gave me an extended kiss good-bye and I thanked him again for sharing this part of his life with me.
Was talking with Michael earlier about my fears of someday being homeless. He laughed at me but I was very serious. Seeing some of those people's faces, their eyes as they thanked me… it came back to me as I went up the elevator. I really did nothing tonight in the grand scheme of things, yet it's more than I've ever done. Pretty sad. Something else I need to work on.
Saturday, February 2, 2008
Another Fun-Filled Weekend
Here at work a second Saturday. I don't mind doing stuff from home but having to come in is annoying. It's a team effort though so even though I don't have a lot to contribute, I need to be here as a show of support. Having missed my Friday night out last weekend I warned that I wasn't skipping this weekend. Still I felt confident I could be here around 10am. Oh well.
That's so how my slut life works. When I really want some attention, there's nothing. When I am trying to behave or just chill, there's options. Last night's was Pete. My usual lust-type… great hair, tall, skinny, swishy, etc. He's only of those rare finds that wants the opposite of his body-type, so I was in. Caught Shaun for a minute and really should have just danced with him then went home. Andrew was also there looking very fine and letting me feel his nipples, so it would have been nice to snuggle up with him. Yet no. I was feeling dirty so I let Pete drive me to his place.
Strange guy. He claims to be bisexual which made me giggle to myself. Yet his inexperience with men did show as we sat on his couch. He was all about giving and not receiving, so I ended up naked and feeling like a side of beef on display. Physically and psychologically I was loving it. I'm always so insecure about my body but I was really getting off on this. Finally talked him into bed a little after 5am.
Lightly dozed through the snoring and finally got out of bed around 9:30am to get dressed. Though he'd expressed the desire to drive me home in the morning I've learned it's best to let sleeping tricks lie. Called my cell from his phone then walked across the street to call a cab from the Holiday. When I asked where I was the look on the cashier's face was priceless. Left a voice mail on Pete's phone then was headed home ten minutes later.
Another hour and here I am. Ready to work. *sigh*
That's so how my slut life works. When I really want some attention, there's nothing. When I am trying to behave or just chill, there's options. Last night's was Pete. My usual lust-type… great hair, tall, skinny, swishy, etc. He's only of those rare finds that wants the opposite of his body-type, so I was in. Caught Shaun for a minute and really should have just danced with him then went home. Andrew was also there looking very fine and letting me feel his nipples, so it would have been nice to snuggle up with him. Yet no. I was feeling dirty so I let Pete drive me to his place.
Strange guy. He claims to be bisexual which made me giggle to myself. Yet his inexperience with men did show as we sat on his couch. He was all about giving and not receiving, so I ended up naked and feeling like a side of beef on display. Physically and psychologically I was loving it. I'm always so insecure about my body but I was really getting off on this. Finally talked him into bed a little after 5am.
Lightly dozed through the snoring and finally got out of bed around 9:30am to get dressed. Though he'd expressed the desire to drive me home in the morning I've learned it's best to let sleeping tricks lie. Called my cell from his phone then walked across the street to call a cab from the Holiday. When I asked where I was the look on the cashier's face was priceless. Left a voice mail on Pete's phone then was headed home ten minutes later.
Another hour and here I am. Ready to work. *sigh*
Monday, September 10, 2007
Random Street Person
Pulling out of the garage I noticed a cute guy walking along the sidewalk with an insulated lunch bag in hand. I saw him look toward me but I looked away to check traffic. As I merged onto the street I met his still-lingering gaze with a smile. Still find moments like that validating, even though they're meaningless. Got my Monday off to a good start anyway.
Sunday, April 8, 2007
So Much for Resolve
Guess I have sorta missed the drunkeness, randomness, and the distration of the bar scene. Danny ended up being really distracted so I sorta let him do his thing. I know how to play his game.1 One of his friends was like, “Oh! So this is the fireplace guy?” which was all the confirmation I needed.
Was good to catch up with Joe and Pancho. They had lots to talk about which was brilliantly contrasted with my “doing nothing” commentary. There were lots of people there so I didn't as much time as I wanted with them. I'm using that as my excuse to go to the Saloon in a few hours.
I'd forgotten how nice it is to get attention. Like some random Mark… who within ten seconds of getting my name was feeling me up. Or the terribly cute Nick who was an ex of Danny's. Or another Nick who was likely underage but kind enough to feel me up and tweak my left nipple. And all the other non-sense that that is tragically validating.
The total *gasp* of the night was this guy that looked totally like Thayne. A complete wet dream come true. The same spindly body, little taller than me, same hair color and cut, funny adam's apple… everything! But super gay! *giggle* He was a friend-of-a-friend type thing but I couldn't get the introduction because I was too stunned.
Anyway. Danny said he'd be at the Saloon but whatever. Pancho will be going and I offered to buy Joe a motivating drink. I have tomorrow off so might as well make use of it. For now I'm just going to lie down a minute to stop the spinning. Colby also left me one of his typical cracked-out voicemails so I need to return his call.
Fun times. Still… not going home with anyone tonight. I think. *snicker*
Was good to catch up with Joe and Pancho. They had lots to talk about which was brilliantly contrasted with my “doing nothing” commentary. There were lots of people there so I didn't as much time as I wanted with them. I'm using that as my excuse to go to the Saloon in a few hours.
I'd forgotten how nice it is to get attention. Like some random Mark… who within ten seconds of getting my name was feeling me up. Or the terribly cute Nick who was an ex of Danny's. Or another Nick who was likely underage but kind enough to feel me up and tweak my left nipple. And all the other non-sense that that is tragically validating.
The total *gasp* of the night was this guy that looked totally like Thayne. A complete wet dream come true. The same spindly body, little taller than me, same hair color and cut, funny adam's apple… everything! But super gay! *giggle* He was a friend-of-a-friend type thing but I couldn't get the introduction because I was too stunned.
Anyway. Danny said he'd be at the Saloon but whatever. Pancho will be going and I offered to buy Joe a motivating drink. I have tomorrow off so might as well make use of it. For now I'm just going to lie down a minute to stop the spinning. Colby also left me one of his typical cracked-out voicemails so I need to return his call.
Fun times. Still… not going home with anyone tonight. I think. *snicker*
- Such an abuse. But what else am I going to do with my learning and experience?
Not All Tears Are Evil
Went out to the Saloon last night. It'd been at least six weeks so it took a lot of momentum: hair cut, shopping, boredom, et cetera. My weeks of inactivity have fattened me up nicely. I could still fit in flattering jeans so I just had to go with a black shirt to obscure my gut and love handles. In spite of low esteem I still chanted “will not go home with anyone tonight” while walking to make sure it was echoing in my brain, preventing the alcohol from dampening my resolve.1
Texted a few people with Easter wishes and on a whim threw in two of my cousins in Idaho. They responded back and even their sister sent me one.2 Got me thinking. I'm mostly waiting to die out here. Why shouldn't I be there? I'll never have kids of my own so why not enjoy their years before they're gone. I've actually thought about this before but it was a really strong impulse that I still feel sober. Something for later.
Did okay on my restraint. The only temptation came in the form beautiful eyes attached to a youthful, solidly inebriated guy named Danny. Getting up with him for a drink conveniently got me away from a freak—invariably get one a night. After paying for the drinks he got distracted by some chick he knew so I took the opportunity to slip away. Much easier that way.
Did four drinks instead of the wiser three so I had a choice headache when the fucking sun forced me awake a little after 10am. Nibbled something to compliment the aspirin while watching Lord of the Rings: Return of the King.3 Really didn't feel up to the well-childrened Easter plans so called Nikki to leave voicemail. Did some laundry. Nikki did call me back to make sure it was hang over and not despression that kept me away. So sweet of her… I felt bad lying.
While the dryer cycle was up I walked the 3rd Avenue bridge. The sun was out so I wore a tank top, shorts, and sandals. I suppose it was cold since people with coats and hats looked at me oddly, but might as well put the fat to work. Went by Dunn Bros. for a hot chai to read the Onion while I waited for the two loads to be done.
Tried calling the Grandparents and the eldest cousin to extend Easter wishes but got voicemailed. Annoyingly/surprisingly, Danny called. Sorta told Joe I would go to Show Tunes but I figured I could ditch him. Harder to deny Danny's eyes so I've got clothes picked out. Going to hop in the shower and rehearse my lines. Want to be back sober and before 9pm so I can get some gaming in. Sure I'm a loser… with defenses/excuses in place it's that much easier to wallow.
Texted a few people with Easter wishes and on a whim threw in two of my cousins in Idaho. They responded back and even their sister sent me one.2 Got me thinking. I'm mostly waiting to die out here. Why shouldn't I be there? I'll never have kids of my own so why not enjoy their years before they're gone. I've actually thought about this before but it was a really strong impulse that I still feel sober. Something for later.
Did okay on my restraint. The only temptation came in the form beautiful eyes attached to a youthful, solidly inebriated guy named Danny. Getting up with him for a drink conveniently got me away from a freak—invariably get one a night. After paying for the drinks he got distracted by some chick he knew so I took the opportunity to slip away. Much easier that way.
Did four drinks instead of the wiser three so I had a choice headache when the fucking sun forced me awake a little after 10am. Nibbled something to compliment the aspirin while watching Lord of the Rings: Return of the King.3 Really didn't feel up to the well-childrened Easter plans so called Nikki to leave voicemail. Did some laundry. Nikki did call me back to make sure it was hang over and not despression that kept me away. So sweet of her… I felt bad lying.
While the dryer cycle was up I walked the 3rd Avenue bridge. The sun was out so I wore a tank top, shorts, and sandals. I suppose it was cold since people with coats and hats looked at me oddly, but might as well put the fat to work. Went by Dunn Bros. for a hot chai to read the Onion while I waited for the two loads to be done.
Tried calling the Grandparents and the eldest cousin to extend Easter wishes but got voicemailed. Annoyingly/surprisingly, Danny called. Sorta told Joe I would go to Show Tunes but I figured I could ditch him. Harder to deny Danny's eyes so I've got clothes picked out. Going to hop in the shower and rehearse my lines. Want to be back sober and before 9pm so I can get some gaming in. Sure I'm a loser… with defenses/excuses in place it's that much easier to wallow.
- Need to ease into things. Fucking someone would just put me back on the used/depressed track.
- Totally surprised me; sorta felt bad because I didnt' have her number otherwise I would have sent her one initially.
- Found the second and third for $7.50 at Target and couldn't resist; I'd forgotten how epic they are!!
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