New York was fun. There were a myriad of things to see and do. Catching what I could was exhausting without even realizing it until the train ride home. AndrewFashion was a great tour guide and often kept up better than I did.
I was surprised that, though it shows it's age, New York was surprisingly clean. Watching Night Court repeatedly had formed a harsh opinion that is best summarized in part 3 of Danny Got His Gun when Dan Fielding answers Kista's question, “Are the people nice there?” by saying, “Sure. Just don't make eye contact.” Yet I didn't find this the case when exposed to much humanity in the subways or on the streets downtown.
Yet for all it has to offer and how accessible it is, it still has the pall of the big city. The reliance on public transport can be frustrating. It's big to the point of being overwhelming and impersonal. And I started to see what Ed Shepp described as being “hard” about making a living there. Moving there would have been a mistake. While it definitely suits Nic's persona I am saddened to think how it's going to change AF. Yet that's not my concern.
The hardest part for me was how AF has moved on emotionally along with physically. I caught glimpses of it before he left yet it was more clear now that he's settled. Having to grieve the loss of intimate connection for yet another special man is always fun. Was pretty torturous containing feelings once reciprocated by the man you're sleeping next to. Wanting to reach out… hold, touch, caress. Yet when you do, even fleetingly, it's met with tolerance instead of pleasure. Words are quite incapable of describing this pain.
Will that stop me? Of course not. I hadn't planned on doing Nano this year because I know the expansion will consume me when it's released in the middle of the month. Yet I seem to have a lot of writing to do all of a sudden. *smirk* Notes and content have me at a little over 5k right now. Looks like I'll finish this year.
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