Found my old Nokia and managed to catch Thayne while he was still awake. So I got the birthday wish. Bit of catching up and promise of communication before Christmas. *snicker* Totally forget how he and Leonard Nimoy share the same birthday. Naturally I make a Star Trek association. Gene Roddenberry and I had the same birthday. ;)
It was late so I minimized the guilt conveniently. This is the first time I've talked to him since I've moved to Minnesota. LJ and eMail doesn't count.
I'm a pussy—that's all it is. There's still a lot of pain associated with that valley and the whole damn state. Especially in March. I know I'm a lot better but there are random moments and old songs that take me right back. Eight years since he died now. And I'm still shut down, unavailable, in so many ways.
I suppose it's no longer pain. More of a numbness. It's all boiled down to some really happy memories, some poignant regret, and vague musings. All the “What if…” bullshit. And the inevitable comparisons that are more than unrealistic. Unfair.
Sure I believe in life after love. Don't see how I have a choice. Bleh. Need to stop thinking and get some sleep.
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