Got back from my volunteering so I'm in the usual funk. At least I haven't cried yet but I'll prolly get weepy after going over it all. Got slotted for what I now think is the most difficult position: doorman. Basically I keep a cheerful face as I greet each person in a line that run out to the street and along the sidewalk. I hand them a ticket that helps us keep a head count and socialize when the line gets backed up.
Most of the people were pleasant but I felt so affluently white. Fresh from the gym, I must have looked to them like some sort of part-time bleeding heart putting in my few hours a month for the dregs of humanity. Definitely feeling the guilt I suppose. I did fairly well partnered with the sweetest little woman Karen. There were one or two times I was a little worried about her so I had to puff up.
One man was a bit too drunk. Once he'd left, one of the managers came up to let me know he wasn't to be let back in and there was one guest who wasn't going to leave until he was gone. Kept an eye on him as he crossed the street. The blind man he had been harassing came up with nice hippie girl to escort them. I warned them where the drunk was. After ten minutes the drunk returned and, sure enough, when we opened the doors to let a few patrons leave, he made as if to come in.
I placed myself in the middle of the doors. After pushing Karen to the side, I placed my first in the center of his chest to stop his advance then told him we were closed for the evening. He looked at me directly and asked, “You're going to refuse me?” with a slight slur. I cocked my head with a less menacing smile to return his look while letting the question hang there for a moment. Then we both laughed as we took a step back and I told him to “Go ahead and sit back down out there.”
Was a very tense moment that Karen and I were quick to laugh off after closing the doors. I mentioned something about my two years of Karate in junior high. His shirt wasn't that concealing so I was pretty sure he didn't have any weapons within easy reach. I was fully ready for him to take a swing. It would have been interesting since I'm sure my reactions would have been a lot faster, but his arms and chest were as big as mine.
Anyway. It was an experience. I actually felt doubly bad because I wasn't “doing” anything. Karen and I had to stay up there even as people were cleaning up. While it was nice to have the appreciative comments on the way out, it was difficult to keep from sounding robotic when returning the “Have a good evening.”s.
Headed out a little before 7pm. I pulled out my $300 fuchsia RAZR to see if I had any new messages. Then I got into my $30k coupe to head home while my $500 iPod Touch pounded a Christopher Lawrence CD from my speakers. Got up to my $900/month apartment where I'd left the air conditioning on all day so it would be nice to come home to. Such extravagance that becomes blindingly apparent after watching 212 people come in off the street for dinner.
Some of these people are doing relatively well as I listened to them swap stories. Some are not. A host of smells passed by me, from the basic unwashed human flesh to hard alcohol sweat to mouthwash. There were many stressed veins and dark patches at the crook of the elbow. When I hear Compassionate Conservative line, which boils down to “Get a job.”, I have to shake my head. How can these people do that when they struggle for the basics on a daily basis?
I will be doing more volunteering with the partnered churches, but I'm going to have to find ways to do more.
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