A Little Less Time in the Steam Room

Brought the new swim suit I bought at H&M yesterday to the gym. After I was done lifting I figured I could work in some laps. Turns out the European cut that didn't look so bad in the dressing room was not so hot out in the real world. Oh well. Motivation Through Embarrassment is my new motto, so I took the plunge. Thought I was going to die after the first lap.

Granted I was a little tired and it's been an eventful weekend, but this was plain sad. Gave up, plunking my fat ass down in the steam room. Forgot how nice that was. Stretched out and gave my muscles some much-needed attention. They have two huge jacuzzis so I got to stretch out there for a few minutes, too. I was feeling quite relaxed when I headed back to the women's locker room.

It was eerie. There was a little buzzing warning in the back of my head but my body was sort of on autopilot until I came up to the showers. They were on the wrong side. And they had dividers. When did they put those in? I continued forward again and the lockers seemed closer than I remembered. Then I smelled a delicate floral scent. Perfume?

The buzzing finally pushed to the forefront as a scream, “GET OUT YOU STUPID FUCKER!” I was confused and slow. I walked back to the exit door, but then turned back around to check on the showers. They really had dividers. The screaming was thankfully contained in my head, but my body was still befuddled.

Common sense kicked in finally and I went back to the exit door, opening it. Sure enough. There was the women's sign. Dress and everything. I didn't even stop to see if anyone was watching me or if the police had arrived. I shambled out as if it was the most normal thing in the world to open and enter the door next to the one I just left.

As I walked into the correct shower area an older, well-hung/trimmed guy was flapping in front of me as he was drying off. Excellent! Everything was right with the world again. Except… why do women get to shower in relative privacy and the men are back in Junior High? Something I'll wonder about privately.

*shudder*